Bloom Where You're Planted, Even If the Dirt Sucks
Welcome, Reader, to mid-April! While the weather outside is delightful, that doesn’t mean things inside aren’t frightful. Life has a funny way of throwing us into unexpected situations, sometimes landing us in soil that feels less than ideal (or like straight-up sh*t). If you’re there now, you’re not alone. And, while I have no doubt that you sooo do not want to hear this, imma say it anyway: We do have some choice in how we respond to being down in the dirt (dumps?). Annoying, but true. We can choose to wallow, wailing “Why me?!” until we wither & die. OR, like the daring dandelion that pops up way too early in Spring, we can find new ways to bloom- even in sh*itty soil.
HOW? Glad you asked, and y’all know what I’m gonna say: Pranayama (breathwork) & Meditation (mental focus). What I’ve found in my own mental health journey is that these two practices help me to find space. A mental distance between myself and my thoughts. Some breathing room (literally) between myself and my emotions. This space allows me to move from a place of acceptance and adaptability. It allows me to cultivate a “growth mindset”, so that- instead of resisting the challenges that come my way- I can choose to embrace them as opportunities for transformation. These tools, practiced regularly, help me to find what I consider to be my 3 mental health essentials:
The Reality Check: Acceptance is always the first step. It's about acknowledging the reality of my circumstances without judgment or resistance. Whether I find myself facing financial struggles, relationship difficulties, or even the loss of a dream, accepting where I am allows me to let go of the need for things to be different (read: control of every dang thing) and instead focus more on what I actually can control—my response to the situation. In my head, it might go something like this: “Dear Self, this sucks, and I don’t want this…[deep breath] but I can accept that it is what it is.”
The Pivot: Mental flexibility is the next essential ingredient. In the social business world, we call this “The Pivot.” Just as a river flows around a rock, I too can adapt and flow with the ever-changing currents of life. This means letting go of rigid expectations and embracing the unknown with an open heart and mind. By cultivating flexibility in my thoughts and actions, I wear away at obstacles- or just find a way around them. I make space (there’s that word again!) for new opportunities. It might go something like this: “Ok, Self, how can I make this a positive for me? How can I get around this obstacle? What’s my new game plan?”
The Stubborn Self: Radical commitment to growth is the most important piece here, underpinning everything else. Despite the challenges and obstacles that may come my way, I have the power to cultivate inner strength, resilience, and perseverance. Like the dandelion pushing through the cracks in the pavement, I have the innate ability to rise above adversity and reach for the light. This is my Mission, should I choose to accept it. It might go something like this: “Self, I am committed to my goals and my growth, even if what that looks like has to change. I can do hard things, dammit!”
So, the next time life lands you in less than ideal circumstances, fall back on the habits of breathwork and mental focus/meditation. While they’re certainly no silver bullet solution, you might find that- like me- you’re better equipped to practice acceptance, cultivate flexibility, and (re)commit to your own growth. Remember the wisdom of the dandelion: bloom where you're planted, even if the dirt sucks. And before you know it, you might find yourself blossoming into the beautiful, resilient person you were always meant to be.
By the way, I’ll be right down here in the dirt with you…breathing & meditating my way through the sh*t. I guess I’d like to think I’m the daring dandelion, rather than the wailing wallowflower (yes, I just made that word up). How about you?
Yours in the 💩,
Trish
P.S. Sometimes telling someone to “Just Breathe” is like telling a drowning person to stop being so dramatic and just swim. Trust me, I’ve been there. If you’re doing your damndest, and the day still seems impossible to get through- let alone “bloom” through- PLEASE ask for help. Talk to your doctor, who can refer you to many great resources. Or try an online resource like betterhelp.com, which might be both more accessible and more affordable. Above all, please know:
You are not alone. You are worthy of happiness. You can bloom again.